July 2009

Still struggling with my 30 days Bikram Challenge, but have not yet missed a day. It has made me very emotional, I normally cry easily but this has unleashed a flood of tears,it's the back bends. The body and the mind are connected, physical pain is often associated with deep emotional hurt and I am in the process of releasing everything, especially old fears, such that of being abandoned or left behind.
I also realised I needed to eat more, so I now have a huge cooked breakfast, as I cannot eat for three hours before doing a class and an hour afterwards. Evening sessions are a killer, and there is the problem that I never feel like eating at 11.30 pm or midnight, so now I try to go the the mid-afternoon classes, aiming for the 6.45 am class in my last week - to get to that I will have to get up at 4.45 am. I shower several times a day, I always seem to carry with me the smell of sweat and my hair is always damp. I also drink a lot of water.
I was talking to a senior instructor yesterday and she warned that the worst is still to come, usually by the end of the second week, which is when many people give up. But after that it will be a 'delight'- her words. I cannot say it is a delight right now.
Improvements so far: the cramps have gone, my spine is super flexible, I feel as if I had grown an inch, it's just posture and alignment but it makes a difference.
I will start shooting again next week.

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